You know that just before that first Thanksgiving dinner there was one wise, old Native American woman saying, “Don’t feed them. If you feed them, they’ll never leave.” – Dylan Brody
Great quote to describe the interesting dynamics that can happen during the holidays. Holiday travel means family gatherings. On one hand, we look forward to catching up on the year’s happenings. On the other hand, we dread inevitable friction of everyone being in the same house together! Family reunions can be downright stressful!
Usually, I share tips for traveling, relocating and all things related to corporate housing. Equally important, however, is how we can weather the other stresses which accompany family dinners. In an interview on my radio show, Black Belt Selling, last year, Patrick Dean, President of Seminar Systems, talked about how to handle those disappointments. I will share the highlights of that show here.
According to Patrick, people want to have a sense of closeness at the holidays. The tendency is to look outside of ourselves for joy and fulfillment.We look to relatives to make us happy. A lot of stress at family get-togethers springs from seeing other people as the source of validation. Basically, we are looking to get our needs fulfilled.
A little self examination, please!
What needs do we have that we look to others to fulfill? Could it be that we expect others to get excited for us about some new accomplishment? Or we just want Grandma to stop treating us like children, now that we are adults? Satisfaction and joy come from serving others. Being truly authentic empowers you to serve others. If you are coming from a place of need, you cannot truly be present with the other person. Authenticity frees you to listen to others and serve them.
5 Ingredients for Greater Joy!
- Stop looking to others for your happiness. Enough said there!
- Love other people without needing to change them. Letting Aunt Sally criticize the gravy without pointing out she is wrong reduces your stress, her stress and everyone else’s stress.
- Walk away from abusive or violent situations. You don’t need to endure mistreatment for the sake of getting along. A direct, quiet no gives the clear message that you respect yourself.
- Don’t take your opinion too seriously. Lighten up!! Enjoy what others have to say, and everyone will have a better time!
- Love with all your heart. This, too, is a choice which comes flows from practicing all of the above.
To hear more, you can go to my radio show on BlogTalkRadio to listen to the entire episode.
When visiting family, having your own place to get away from the relatives can also be beneficial. Sometimes we just need a quiet place to be ourselves. At Capri, we offer vacation rentals for as little as 3 days in the Del Rio area. Consider having a comfortable apartment to escape the chaos when you visit relatives. Call us or email us to find out how we can help you!